Return of the Prodigious Son

Shortly over a year ago a thought instantly appeared in my head from nothingness. It came to me like a burning little flame, no larger than a grain of salt. Over the following days it grew brighter and larger, larger and brighter until I could no longer contain it.


"I'm quitting my job and backpacking around the world."

There, I said it. My brother looked back at me and after a brief discussion he agreed that it was a sensational idea. That was back in January 2008, just hours before I created this blog.

Slightly over a year later, I was on my way back from the World. On the evening of January 25th, after a 27 hour trip, I landed back in America. I worked my way through the maze of winding barrier ropes in the large sterile immigration room until it was my turn.

“Welcome home Mr. Fox”, he said as he inked the final stamp in my passport. I thanked him and headed through the door to rejoin the reality I stepped out on a little over 7 months prior.

Half in a daze I greeted my mother at International Arrivals, God it was great to see her. After a big giant hug she handed me my winter coat and my hat and gloves and we headed for the car. I’m home.
ROLL THE CREDITS!!!!

The Numbers

4 = continents visited

14 = countries visited

215 = days away from home

79 = beds slept in

6 = stomach bugs caught

3= colds caught

3= the number of times I got leaches

29,000 = miles traveled

Observations of America

1) It's cold!

2) Barack Obama is President

3) Gas is like 2004 cheap

4) After hours of YouTube-ing, I still don’t understand why Tina Fey’s portrayal of Sarah Palin is funny. I guess you just had to be there.

5) There is an "economic crisis" and everyone seems overly sensitive about it.

5a) John, you checked your iPhone 3 times over lunch and bitched about the stock market. Did you just consult a superfluous expensive device to tell you that you are poor?

5b) Nobody had a Superbowl party because of the economy? Really? Even though you all have the same job you had when I left, The economy wouldn’t let us all bring a 6-pack to someone’s house and watch TV?

5c) When you’ve been surrounded by people who worry about where their next meal is coming from, it's hard not to giggle when people who drive cars and live in houses cry about not having money. I apologize to anyone who I offended while laughing, don’t feel bad, I am unemployed myself.

5d) TV commercials pitch how cheap and economical their products are regardless what stretches they have to go to make it fit. By making your own Digiorno pizza you can save up to $4 on delivery and Sprint is saving the collective masses billions of dollars.

6) Technology has passed me by and in my opinion has surpassed any possible need it can meet. It's time to put the leash back on the engineers and the geeks and get them back into the nerdatoriums where they belong. Do we really need to watch TV on our cell phones? I tried buying a new laptop computer at BestBuy yesterday, there were 5 different kinds! “Sir, Do you want a gaming laptop, a desk top replacement laptop, a mini laptop, laptop stew, laptop gumbo, barbeque laptop…” "I want a LAPTOP LAPTOP!!!!!"

7) My nephew is still as adorable as he was when I left. However he now has more hair than me and answers my questions. “Did you poop in your diaper?”

“No,no,no,no,no!”

“No? Than who did?”

He points at me.

8) I now understand why America is the greatest place to live and I truely appreciate my citizenship. To all the America haters I met along the way…suck it!

Thank You

Jakes, Paul, Iris and Mutsa, The crew at Karongwe Game Reserve, The crew at Moby’s Backpackers in Hermanus, Mark and Gail, Frick, Nick and the rest, India for beating me into the strongest me ever, Raj, Deep and the Pahari Family, Party-on Jon “JD” Dong, Dan the crazy bastard, “The Israelis”, “The Irish”, “The Irish 2”, Kinley and Dshering, Nature, Andrea, Rae, Travis and Kelly for venturing out to meet me in the world, Jersey Jay Scouser, Trevor, Karl, Glenn and Claire, Skinner, Gordon, and the cast of many who I met along the way.

Lastly, thanks to all of you who’ve been following me, it’s been great having you along for the ride, especially through the tough times. The last number I’d like to post is

4,317 = Visitors to my blog since it started. Wow! Thanks for your support and your readership.

As the theme music comes to an end I’d like to say, this has truly been a life changing experience and I am so lucky and eternally grateful to have had the opportunity to be able to do it. I'm not exactly sure what’s next for me (book deal?) what ever may come, I will try to greet it with the same spirit. I wish you all the best.

And the death of my blog implodes back into nothingness...

The Not So Great Barrier Reef

It's 9:00 on Saturday morning and I'm sitting at a table outside of Starbucks in a daze watching Sydney go by. In less than 24 hours I'll start my 27 hour marathon flight to my final stop on this world tour, New Jersey, USA. I've committed to my goal of giving everything I have to this journey and now I'm shattered. I am emaciated, everything aches, my left foot hurts so bad I now walk with a limp and my mind has become jello unable to process much at all.

Everything takes effort, my pen feels like it weighs 20 lbs as I struggle to write for the 3rd day straight. I have ridden this one until the wheels fell off, I have nothing left and now it's time to come back down from the mountain and rejoin the market place. But first, I'll need rest. I promise there will be at least one more post before I close out this blog, but I can't promise more after.

So when we left off I was heading off on my pilgrimage to Carins to visit my Mecca, the Great Barrier Reef. It's been months since I've kept a budget and I was sure I'd blown it out of the water. However, I made the decision that if I were to dive the GBR, I would do it right. So I whipped out the plastic and purchased back-to-back trips on live-aboard diving vessels for a total of 7 days.

I was going to live the reef, take all I could get and leave sick of it. Plus I thought,"Isn't this the reason we work? To earn money so we can do what makes us happy?" (I don't think I believed this when I left in June, but it has become a code I live by now). This has been a life goal of mine since I was 9 years old and between environmental factors degrading the GBR and not knowing if or when I'd ever get back to Australia, making this decision was simple.

I was to spend 2 days on the outer reef, then come back to Cairns, switch boats and go far out into the open ocean, to dive the Coral Sea and remote parts of the GBR for the following 5 days.

The next morning I boarded ReefQuest, a 70 foot catamaran and headed out for my first 7 dives on the outer GBR. The first thing I noticed was how packed the boat was, it looked like a refugee ship. I did some quick and dirty head math and realized that between the number of people on the boat, the number of trips they make per week and the number of tour operators in business there was a good chance that this reef would be in bad shape. Having the memories of diving Sipidan fresh in my mind (See Post: Borneo Land of Monkeys and Scuba Junkies) my standards were set to a point that would be almost impossible to meet.

So there I stood on the dive deck, looking at the numerous dive boats bobbing in the water and the rising columns of bubbles of countless divers who had already been down.

I crashed through the water and as the white foam subsided I looked down. I felt like I was 5 years old again and my Dad just told me that there was no Santa Claus (I know, you're thinking "I thought you were Jewish?" But that actually did happened, a good story for another time) Everything I had built up in my mind was just a fantasy, this section of the reef was in bad shape.

I floated over bleached out crumbling dead coral, bumping into oodles of clumsy divers. This was a place that the local dive shops took people to learn. Many were on their first dive, unable to control their bodies in their odd new environment and unaware of proper dive etiquette. Some seemed to be oblivious to their surroundings as they snapped pictures with their "Rad" new cameras. Hech-hem, Japanese tourists...I'm looking in your direction. I swear, some of these guys see their entire vacation through the 3 inch LCD monitor on the back of their camera. I laughed as I imagined these folks coming home and assembling a flip book of pictures to experience the vacation they just missed on their couch. Then a fin came sweeping down, kicking my mask off my face and my regulator out of my mouth. "Don't dive angry", I told myself as I gave my assailant the OK sign when he turned to apologize in awkward underwater sign language.

Later in the afternoon I was transferred to OceanQuest a bigger and much more luxurious catamaran, where I spent the night and finished out the remaining dives of the trip. While the dives did get progressively better. I was completely underwhelmed with the Great Barrier Reef.

We headed back to Carins and on the following morning I boarded the Taka, a 70 foot single-hull ship that was built specifically to take divers to the farthest reaches of the GBR and the Coral Sea. This ship was not as luxurious as OceanQuest; but the crew was amazing, there were fewer divers on board, all with loads of experience and all good company and there was a Nintendo Wii in the lounge.

We set out at 5:00 in the evening and sailed all night to the furthest reaches of the GBR. When I awoke, I stepped out onto the sun deck. I found myself as a tiny insignificant speck in the middle of a boundless turquoise sea, there was no land to serve as a point of reference. The water was flat like a sheet of glass, perfect conditions.

Looking down you could see 90 feet to the ocean floor; the reef and its residents on their daily routines, a turtle here some large pelagic fish over there. I had a good feeling, I couldn't wait to get in the water.

This time I submerged and as my eyes gained focus I almost spit my regulator out of my mouth. Like in Sipidan a few months ago, I was descending on a pure unspoiled vibrant coral city. I cruised effortlessly, flying through the coral maze, gliding through caves as my dive buddy, Kris and I pointed out sharks and Morey Eels and Clown fish (Nemo) to each other.

We got back on the boat and everyone was in a fever pitch, "Holy...Did you see?... I can't believe...Wow!" That evening the boat sailed on to the Coral Sea and as I lied in bed I thought, "4 more days of this, Woo-hoo!"

The next morning we sat in the lounge for a briefing on diving in the Coral Sea. We would be diving a site called Cod Hole where we would feed the large Potato Cod.

This is the last underwater footage I captured before the same"waterproof" Olympus camera that broke in Nepal broke again. Thanks again Olympus! Regardless, the experience was awesome.

We got back on board and sat down for lunch while we cruised to the next dive site. As we sat eating, one of the crew busted through the door yelling, "We've got Dolphins!" So we all sprang out of our chairs and headed to the bow of the boat to find a school of Dolphins playing in our bow wake, at the front of the boat.



That night I went to bed once more with an ear to ear grin on my face, for on the following day we would be feeding sharks...Awesome! Following another dive briefing we jumped into the water and assembled in a semi-circle where Trent, the trip coordinator was waiting with a garbage can. Inside was a bait line consisting of a chain with Tuna heads attached to it. When he opened the can, the float at the end of the chain headed for the surface carrying the Tuna heads up with it. The sharks, as well as other fish, started to swarm in the dozens.


Unlike my previous experience diving with Great Whites back in July, there was no cage this time to separate me from the sharks. It was amazing, For the next 20 minutes I felt like I was watching the Discovery Channel live. Sharks passed within inches of me.

We got back on the boat and headed up to the sun deck to assume our typical post dive lounging. "This is the life.", I thought, "I want to do this from now on."

"Hey Mike", I said to a new buddy of mine, "I think I know what I want to do when I am done traveling."
"What's that?", he replied.
"I wanna be a pirate."
"What?!?"
"Wanna join me? I figure we can sail around like this, of course it would be a pirate dive boat. We'd fly the Jolly Roger, drink rum and only raid cruise ships for chicks and booze. What do you think?"
"I think you've lost your mind Chris."

Everyone else joined in our discussion as we designed our new lives as pirates. The women wanted to add a provision that we raid cruise ships for hot guys too, I obliged them as we all yelled "AARRRGH!" at each other and traded crappy pirate jokes.

In the days that followed we continued to dive 4 times a day, including some amazing night dives and cave dives. On the last evening we headed on an overnight trip back to Carins. Now all was well for the past 5 days, but on this evening we hit "a little bit of weather". As the ship tossed violently, the pots and pans flew through galley crashing as they smashed together. We were getting thrown all over the place. And that's when I came up with a brilliant idea.

I turned to my new Dutch friend Sander and said,"Hey Colonel Sanders, wanna rematch on Nintendo Wii bowling?" I beat him the last time so he was out to avenge his loss. "You're on Chris, I'm taking you down this time."
"OK, but the rules are, you're not allowed to hold on to anything."
"Deal!"

Folks what followed may have been the funniest 10 minutes of my life. It reminded me of the scene in Jackass the movie when the crew put on roller skates and hopped in the back of a U-haul truck while their friend drove it around like a maniac.

We flew through the air landing on couches, the floor, our faces. Everyone joined in, we had a dance party, we jumped around, and we fell all over the place. It was a laugh riot. That was until the first person said,"Um, I'm tired, I think I'll go to bed now" which is tough guy/girl code for, "Oh my God! I'm going to puke! I've gotta get to a toilet" As the minutes past, more and more people "went to bed" leaving just a handful of us behind.

An hour later I felt fine, hell I never get seasick I'm hardcore.

Thirty minutes later as the boat continued to relentlessly pitch and yaw I felt... OK, not great but OK, I'm hardcore.

Thirty minutes later as the bow continued to rise up then slap the oncoming waves, I felt not so great, not terrible, I'm still hardcore, I mean I wouldn't eat a 5 course meal right now, but I'm definitely hardcore.

Thirty minutes later, it was just me and Mike sitting hunched over with our hands on our knees, not saying a word, just breathing. "Dude, I don't think I want to be a pirate anymore" I said breaking the silence. He laughed looking over at me as we silently acknowledged that we were sick and we weren't as hardcore as we thought we were. Meanwhile the boat's crew members carried along as if nothing were different. They sat next to us during cigarette breaks and I tried not to inhale the puke evoking, second-hand smoke. They were hardcore.

Hey at least I didn't throw up. But, for four days following the trip I've been falling over in the shower and stumbling down the street like a drunk 3 year old as I still feel like I am on the boat. The fact that I have been drunk as well probably doesn't help the matters.

After a week at sea and 21 dives my new boat friends and I headed back to Cairns for a good night out on the town. The following afternoon I flew to Sydney where I have been sitting unaffected in listless lethargy, forcing myself to see the sights and go to the beach (Opera House....ooooh..ahhhh, Harbor Bridge...whoopie doo!!)

Tomorrow night I'll be in New Jersey, it will be in the 20's (Sorry my non-American friends, I don't know what that is in Celsius. Google it) and there will be snow on the ground. But now, I'm heading back to the sidewalk table in front of Starbucks to read and enjoy the last hours of summer. Coming up next...re-entry.

Tasmanian Devil

Chaos... Black reasonless darkness. Every neuron in my brain was on fire as I hyperventilated consumed by terror, rage and panic. "WHERE THE FUCK AM I!", I tried to scream on top of my lungs but not a sound could escape me. I violently exploded up off the couch as I fought myself awake. Tears in my eyes, heart racing, panting.

"Relaaaaaax...Breeeeeeeathe....Calm down, you're OK", I told myself, "We are on Ian Skinner's couch, in Adelaide, in Australia." The clock told me I'd been out for 15 hours. And as I caught my breath I felt the cold sweat soaked shirt sticking to my body. And there it was, my rebirth into Australia. I'd been delivered.

The past 4 months in Asia hung in my memory like one of those bizarre turbulent all-night dreams you toss and turn through and try to make sense of in the morning, in the shower and through breakfast. Part fantasy, part nightmare it leaves you spent and used up at its conclusion. Whatever it was, it was over and my introduction to Australia had begun.

The first thing I shouldn't have noticed, but did was that I was brushing my teeth in a sink using tap water instead of bottled water. It had been 7 months since I had done so. I finished dressing and decided to go for a walk to explore Adelaide as Skinner was off at work.

"Wow!, I am surrounded by white people", I thought as I made my way through the busy pedestrian street mall in the city center. "And nobody is hassling me. I blend into the background." I began to re-assimilate into a universe where 2 + 2 =4 again and I found that my old system of absolutes and the universal laws that comprised my reality were back in play. It felt odd. For the rest of the afternoon, I wrapped my mind around the peculiarities of Western culture that I had never noticed before. As I caught my stride I thought, "Hey, this place reminds me a lot of Capetown."

I spent the next few evenings on Skinner's couch (Oh, Ian Skinner is a friend I know from back home. He is a college buddy of my friend, Sapienza who I grew up with and whose address I've been giving to the locals in Asia as my own. Hey Sappy, do I have any messages?)

After an uneventful New Year's Eve, Skinner and I met up with his friend Gordon and we headed to the island state of Tasmania for a week of camping and hiking in unspoiled natural beauty.

Shortly after arriving in Tassie, we packed the rental car with our tents and provisions and headed south toward Eaglehawk Neck where we set up camp in the backyard of one of the strangest men I have ever met. I'd imagine that this is the type of guy who enjoys amateur taxidermy and building sculptures from his garbage.

Off to sleep, 3 large guys one small tent and the hard ground as our mattress. I awoke the next morning to the 3 monotone reports of the most vulgar type of alarm clock. What kind of man blasts a small over-crowded tent full of farts? I screamed,"You scumbag! I am so blogging about this!" Well, he asked to remain anonymous, so Gordon and I promised we wouldn't mention him by name (Take that you filthy bastard!) Now, I can easily let this blog entry slide into the realm of dick and fart jokes to appeal to the least common denominator. And while it would accurately portray the tone of the trip, I won't go there. Let's just say that by the end of the week vengeance was gained and everybody lost. Our obnoxious 12-year old behavior aside, the trip to Tasmania was incredible.

On the first morning we headed to Cape Raoul for a 5-hour hike to where the dolorite cliffs dropped hundreds of feet down to meet the cool blue waters of the Antarctic Ocean (aka the Great Southern Ocean). I stood at the cliff's edge and inhaled the cool fresh air for an infinity under the deep clear all consuming vastness that was the sky. I thought to myself, "This is it man. Take it, consume it, be 100% present in this moment, this is life."

I returned from my sojourn with the universe a few moments later to rejoin the fray. I now concentrated on the boulders and tree roots below my feet as I tried to navigate my way back without falling on my face.

The following day we drove a few hours over to the east coast and set up camp on a rocky beach enclave

then set off on a 2-hour hike over the mountains to a secluded beach at Wine Glass Bay

where we bathed in the crystal clear but mercilessly cold waters of the Antarctic Ocean. After a few seconds in the unbearable but beautiful sea we headed back onto the beach to dry off.

I sat eating an apple when this little kangaroo-like guy practically jumped into my lap.

Apparently I wasn't the only hungry one on the beach. "That's a wallaby dude", Skinner said, "I dare you to pet it." Now I know that you know that I have better sense than to feed and try to pet a wild animal. But, Skinner and Gordon were egging me on and I wasn't about to go out like a punk in front of my boys.

While he ate from my hand (adorable) the wallaby cocked back his pimp hand and almost slapped me when I went in for the pet.

Gordon didn't have any better luck.

We headed back to our campsite and with a ceasefire firmly in place I enjoyed a fartless night's sleep, dozing off to the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks a few feet away.

Over the following six days, Skinner, Gordon and I hiked our way all over Tasmania taking on the challenges of some grueling hikes, climbing mountains and taking in some stunning views.

The sky from the top of Tasmania's highest peak

Tasmania from the top of Cradle Mountain

Montezuma Falls

By the end of our stay we were drained, hurting and wreaking of Tiger Balm and funk. On our final night we cleaned up and hit the bars of Hobart, the main city in Tasmania, and in the morning we caught flights back to the main land. Parting ways, Gordon headed back to Adelaide and Skinner and I headed to Melbourne.

I am sitting in a coffee shop now, waiting out my time as I head to Carins this evening to fulfill one of my greatest life-long dreams of diving the Great Barrier Reef. The clock is ticking louder and louder; T minus 13 days and counting until my return to America. Now I will make sure that I get the most out my remaining time and savor every nanosecond I have left on this amazing journey.